Dispirited or Inspired. I have noticed that when I feel dispirited it is because I am thinking dispiriting thoughts and I am thinking dispiriting thoughts because I am listening to a dispirited mind (the cubicle self mind). When this is the mind I am paying attention to most of the time, if I want relief, I am bound to begin searching in the world for that relief. That's okay, as I must begin my search for peace if I am ever going to find it. This is what life is for - to walk this walk and find this peace; and to discover that this peace is within. It is "the kingdom of heaven within."
My whole life I have been aware of this Inspired Voice. Not an audible voice, but thoughts in my mind, intuitions, heart knowings, inklings - often called "the still, small voice within." This Voice is always moving me towards my Self; my true nature, my soul. How can I tell? It is a heart experience that changes everything; the way I think, the way I see, what I hear and how I move through the world. Like most of us I learned to ignore this Voice as it usually was singing a different tune than the status quo. Yet, I could never completely ignore it because it was always making Itself known. Whether a suggestion as simple as "You'd be better off turning right here instead of left" or a deeper call to go within such as "Do you hear the sound of your own unfolding?" The Mentor Within is a series of short conversations that I decided to finally have with this Inner Voice. Finding myself perpetually seeking for meaning in a world of meaninglessness and always being left empty handed - eventually - my dear friend and mate, John, said to me, "Mary, you will be chasing gurus (idols) all your life. You hear this Inner Voice better than anyone I know. Not only do you hear it, but when it tells you to turn right, you turn left; you do the exact opposite. Why don't you go within and ask your questions?" So, I did.
The same day I finished a nine month program called, "Bridges," I began listening more closely to The Mentor Within. Bridges helped to lay the groundwork for the next nine months of this inner listening to Holy Spirit. In Bridges I was led more deeply into my relationship with who God Is through the Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius of Loyola, a Christian mystic and founder of the Society of Jesus (the Jesuit Order). I was never the same again after these nine months of two - four hours a day spent meditating over the scriptures. It was not a Bible study, but an intensive on developing a deeper relationship with Holy Spirit, Christ Jesus and my Self. Not from a religious perspective, but a personal spiritual experience that is without borders. It was here that my conversion begun. The conversion of my heart orientation. I had always loved the Divine and knew the Divine loved me, for my parents had instilled this in me since my birth with their unceasing unconditional love, but this was different. Christ held my broken heart while I no longer could and made me new. I moved beyond belief and into the experience that the kindgom of heaven truly is within.
The next nine months I found my Self, literally. The Mentor Within with great patience, love, humor, wit and grace, did not mince words. When I said, "Yes," The Mentor Within said, "Here we go." She showed me that my heart had been broken by my own hands. The directness with which She spoke may have rubbed me the wrong way more than once, but I knew in my heart that it was what I needed to hear. It was a wake up call, not a snooze button. As The Mentor Within said, "The truth may seem abrasive to those who aren't ready to hear it." The truth being that I am not who I think I am or who someone else thinks I am or who I am tryng so desperately to become. I am in fact already complete, whole and free. This is Jesus' message. A relief to get this on one hand, yet letting go of the old identity isn't so easy. Afterall, it is still in good standing and functioning above par as far as the world sees it. Herein lies the key phrase, "as the world sees it." I am so much more than what the world sees. We all are.
Now I listen to the Voice for Love. Some days I fail miserably - that's okay. The fall out of fear is only that it urges me to turn away from darkness and towards the Light and keep on truckin'! One day, standing in my kitchen, I literally felt the Hand of Holy Spirit reach into my heart and turn it around. Again, this isn't a religious experience for me, but an experience of Reality - the Reality of Love. Since that day, I can't turn back. That is the nature of this road I have found my Self on - once one has reached a certain point, there is no turning back.
What is that "certain point?" It is the point of Certainty. I am certain that God Is, God Is Love and that only This Love Is Certain. Have your own experience of this Love and speak of it in the words and language of your choice. No beliefs are required. Beliefs can open us or close us. Inspiration calls and awaits our response. We are all called to walk our own path. The Mentor Within says: "We cannot know the path until we take it." I am simply willling to Be A Living Expression of Inspiration in the World - healing one-to-one. When one person listens to the Voice of Inspiration, what is heard is shared with the world.
Click on the player below to listen to (or download) all of The Mentor Within
Download
Name
Play
Size
Length
The Mentor Within - I
127.1 MB
69:24 min
The Mentor Within - II
132.2 MB
72:11 min
The Mentor Within - III
135.6 MB
74:03 min
The Mentor Within - IV
124.7 MB
68:05 min
The Mentor Within - V
120.7 MB
65:55 min
The Mentor Within - VI
142.2 MB
77:38 min
The Mentor Within - VII
123.3 MB
67:21 min
The Mentor Within - VIII
105.7 MB
57:42 min
Or click on the individual audio book chapters below:
Download
Name
Play
Size
Length
001 Preface Mary Gerard
4.6 MB
7:34 min
002 Introduction Mary Gerard
5.6 MB
9:29 min
003 Chapter 1 Mary Gerard
1.6 MB
2:44 min
004 Do You Hear Mary Gerard
1.5 MB
2:34 min
005 There Will Never Be Another You Mary Gerard
3 MB
5:01 min
006 Who is the Mentor Within Mary Gerard
0.8 MB
1:16 min
007 Give Me Another Answer Mary Gerard
1.3 MB
2:11 min
008 What If Mary Gerard
1.1 MB
1:50 min
009 There is Only One Need Mary Gerard
1.3 MB
2:07 min
010 Suffering Mary Gerard
1.7 MB
2:55 min
011 Never Forsaken Mary Gerard
1.9 MB
3:14 min
012 Confidence Mary Gerard
0.7 MB
1:15 min
013 Quicksand Mary Gerard
0.8 MB
1:20 min
014 Why Listen Mary Gerard
0.6 MB
1:04 min
015 Chapter 2 June Mary Gerard
0.2 MB
0:20 min
016 All that You Need Mary Gerard
0.7 MB
1:14 min
017 The Work Begins with You Mary Gerard
4.4 MB
7:31 min
018 Stop Pretending Mary Gerard
6.5 MB
11:04 min
019 On Display Mary Gerard
2.9 MB
4:46 min
020 The Body Mary Gerard
3.7 MB
6:17 min
021 The People Mover Mary Gerard
5.4 MB
9:07 min
022 Ridiculousness Mary Gerard
9.1 MB
15:21 min
023 Free Will Mary Gerard
4.5 MB
7:48 min
024 How Do I Know You Mary Gerard
3.2 MB
5:21 min
025 Return to the Garden Mary Gerard
1.4 MB
2:28 min
026 On the Other Side fo Fear Mary Gerard
1.9 MB
3:19 min
027 A Reflecion of What Lies Within Mary Gerard
0.9 MB
1:30 min
028 Witness to the Darkness Mary Gerard
0.9 MB
1:29 min
029 Your Work Mary Gerard
1.6 MB
2:43 min
030 I Am Who I am Looking For Mary Gerard
4.8 MB
8:22 min
031 Beauty Mary Gerard
4.9 MB
8:32 min
032 Making Peace with the Light Mary Gerard
3.5 MB
6:12 min
033 Counterfeiting Mary Gerard
3.3 MB
5:46 min
034 Chapter 3 July_Behind Every Face Mary Gerard
1.8 MB
3:16 min
035 The Edge of Choice Mary Gerard
1.3 MB
2:16 min
036 Judgement Mary Gerard
1.2 MB
2:00 min
037 Give Love Away Mary Gerard
1.8 MB
3:10 min
038 The Unspoken Question Mary Gerard
2.3 MB
3:54 min
039 Pause Mary Gerard
1.4 MB
2:28 min
040 Spiritual Rehabilitation Mary Gerard
6.7 MB
11:39 min
041 A Friend is Mary Gerard
1.1 MB
1:57 min
042 Whos Who Mary Gerard
4.3 MB
7:36 min
043 Nothing Matters But This Mary Gerard
4.5 MB
7:55 min
044 Just Ask Mary Gerard
0.3 MB
0:29 min
045 Laughing at the Ego Mary Gerard
0.4 MB
0:40 min
046 Creature of Habit Mary Gerard
2.2 MB
3:44 min
047 God Wants to Talk to You Mary Gerard
4.8 MB
8:24 min
048 Disturbing the Peace Mary Gerard
1.6 MB
2:43 min
049 Passion Mary Gerard
3.5 MB
6:00 min
050 Seeing the Christ Within Mary Gerard
1.8 MB
3:05 min
051 Self Expression Mary Gerard
1.5 MB
2:33 min
052 Hesitation Mary Gerard
1.3 MB
2:15 min
053 Ch 4 August_Illusions Battle Illusions Mary Gerard
1.9 MB
3:17 min
054 Authentic Life Mary Gerard
2 MB
3:24 min
055 Confusion Mary Gerard
1.1 MB
1:53 min
056 Lonely Paths Mary Gerard
2.3 MB
3:59 min
057 Blasphemy Mary Gerard
2.5 MB
4:18 min
058 Jesus Gift Mary Gerard
1.2 MB
2:04 min
059 Prey Mary Gerard
1.9 MB
3:22 min
060 Silence Mary Gerard
1.9 MB
3:22 min
061 Who is Doing the Talking Mary Gerard
2 MB
3:31 min
062 Forgiving is Giving Mary Gerard
1.4 MB
2:23 min
063 Divine Nature Mary Gerard
1.8 MB
3:04 min
064 Sacrifice Mary Gerard
1 MB
1:45 min
065 Awareness is Action Mary Gerard
2.6 MB
4:33 min
066 Detachment Mary Gerard
3.5 MB
5:57 min
067 Not God Mary Gerard
1 MB
1:43 min
068 Real Love Mary Gerard
3.3 MB
5:41 min
069 One in the Same Mary Gerard
2.6 MB
4:26 min
070 Dismantling Beliefs Mary Gerard
1.9 MB
3:24 min
071 Ch 5 September_Accepting My Mother Mary Gerard
1.5 MB
2:45 min
072 Peace vs Emotion Mary Gerard
3.1 MB
5:29 min
073 The Smaller Ones Mary Gerard
2.4 MB
4:10 min
074 Self Employed Mary Gerard
10.7 MB
18:31 min
075 A Call to Innocence Mary Gerard
2.3 MB
4:01 min
076 The False self Critical Voice Mary Gerard
4 MB
6:52 min
077 Cellophane Angles Mary Gerard
1.1 MB
1:51 min
078 Hiding Mary Gerard
0.9 MB
1:33 min
079 Lotus Wings Mary Gerard
0.7 MB
1:10 min
080 Our Mistaken Identy Mary Gerard
1.5 MB
2:30 min
081 The Visit Mary Gerard
1.2 MB
2:01 min
082 The Holocaust Vision Mary Gerard
4.1 MB
7:16 min
083 Ch 6 October Mary Gerard
3.5 MB
6:14 min
084 The Untrained Mind Mary Gerard
6.5 MB
11:25 min
085 Temptation Mary Gerard
2.5 MB
4:24 min
086 Spiritual Teachers Mary Gerard
1.1 MB
2:03 min
087 The Woman at the Well Mary Gerard
0.6 MB
1:09 min
088 Hello Thee Mary Gerard
0.9 MB
1:31 min
089 Ch 7 November_Loss of self Mary Gerard
3.8 MB
6:53 min
090 A Prisone of Love Mary Gerard
2.4 MB
4:09 min
091 Projecting Darkness onto My Mother Mary Gerard
1.7 MB
2:58 min
092 Looking for the Light Mary Gerard
2.2 MB
3:46 min
093 Help Wanted Sign Mary Gerard
1.5 MB
2:37 min
094 Return Flight Mary Gerard
2.4 MB
4:13 min
095 A Holy Glimpse Mary Gerard
0.6 MB
0:58 min
096 Stop Taking Your self Seriously Mary Gerard
2.8 MB
4:48 min
097 Fading Friendships Mary Gerard
2.2 MB
4:00 min
098 You are the Body of Christ Mary Gerard
1.2 MB
2:11 min
099 Trying to Fit God In Mary Gerard
2.5 MB
4:32 min
100 Pacing the Bridge Mary Gerard
1.2 MB
2:03 min
101 Dancing with the Illusion Mary Gerard
1.1 MB
1:57 min
102 Holy Spirit Psychiatrist Mary Gerard
3.4 MB
5:54 min
103 Ch 8 December_The Nails of Darkness Mary Gerard
1.6 MB
2:52 min
104 Take Nothing Mary Gerard
0.6 MB
1:01 min
105 Seeing the Roses Mary Gerard
2.6 MB
4:30 min
106 Willingness Mary Gerard
1.2 MB
2:09 min
107 the Veil Mary Gerard
2.3 MB
4:05 min
108 Elevating the Small Self Mary Gerard
2.5 MB
4:19 min
109 How do I Speak of This Mary Gerard
1.6 MB
2:45 min
110 Money Messages Mary Gerard
0.6 MB
1:05 min
111 Form over Content Mary Gerard
4 MB
6:56 min
112 Ch 9 January_Who Am I Mary Gerard
2.8 MB
4:52 min
113 Why the Holocaust Mary Gerard
4.6 MB
7:54 min
114 Claiming Our Divine Nature Mary Gerard
4.2 MB
7:16 min
115 The Denial of Self Mary Gerard
1.4 MB
2:17 min
116 Innocence Mary Gerard
3.4 MB
5:43 min
117 No Turning Back Mary Gerard
0.9 MB
1:27 min
118 Ask This Question Mary Gerard
2.1 MB
3:37 min
119 Homeless mind Mary Gerard
2.1 MB
3:34 min
120 Death Mary Gerard
0.6 MB
1:05 min
121 The Darkest Dark Mary Gerard
1.1 MB
1:59 min
122 The Call of the Self Mary Gerard
3.2 MB
5:28 min
123 Forgiveness Mary Gerard
0.2 MB
0:17 min
124 Longing Mary Gerard
1.9 MB
3:19 min
125 Anger Mary Gerard
1.2 MB
2:03 min
126 Missing God Mary Gerard
2.5 MB
4:21 min
127 Hotel Bliss Mary Gerard
1.1 MB
1:49 min
128 Ch 10 Febuary_The Crucifixion Mary Gerard
3.3 MB
5:45 min
129 Between Two Worlds Mary Gerard
2.2 MB
3:55 min
130 Conclusion_A Conservation with Jesus Mary Gerard
